Austin Prado
Guest Writer

When was the last morning you walked out of the house, forgetting to shave, and robbed of your morning cup of joe? More importantly, when was the last time your cell phone helped solve these mid-morning crises? And no, I’m not talking about pointing you toward the nearest barbershop or coffee house. I mean, when was the last time your phone actually shaved your face or brewed you coffee?

Drum roll please. Introducing the Pomegranate Phone, a revolutionary new smartphone that contains not only the essentials of today’s smartphones (Internet access, email, GPS, music player, camera, and video) but comes with its own interesting set of extras. The Pomegranate Phone comes equipped with a wide screen projector, an instant global voice translator, a coffee brewer, electric shaver, and harmonica – just your typical add-ons. Indeed, it puts more technology in the palm of our hand than we ever thought possible.

Sounds nifty, eh? Unfortunately, the Pomegranate Phone doesn’t appeal to everyone. A-TECH sophomore, Daniel Henry, had this to say about the cutting-edge device “I have a shaving razor, and a projector. I don’t see a point in purchasing an all-inclusive device when I could get better quality by using the tools by themselves.”

Henry makes a valid point, but other A-Tech students disagree. A-TECH junior, Kevin Desoto, made a brilliant statement concerning the phone’s functionality, pointing out that the phone would be “great for dudes and bearded ladies,” additionally asserting that “those circus chicks have got to shave!”

A-TECH sophomore, Ronobir Mookherjee, was similarly impressed by the Pomegranate Phone. Mookherjee remarked that “If I could, I’d invest in the phone company’s stock. It’s that good!”

So… how much is it? When and where can I buy one? Will I find any facial hair in my morning coffee? All wonderful questions, but unfortunately, the cliché about something being “too good to be true” is all too applicable in this situation. While browsing the Pomegranate Phone’s Web site, when one clicks on the “release date” link, you realize that the phone is nothing but fiction as you are redirected to Nova Scotia’s tourism site.

Yes that’s right – Nova Scotia. That’s the dinky little southeastern Canadian province with the second smallest population of all the Canadian provinces. Apparently Nova Scotia is as lonely as Tiger Woods is going to be (once his affair is confirmed), because the province spent $300,000 on the Pomegranate Phone’s viral ad campaign just to get people to come visit the place. And considering the phone/tourism Web site has had over 1,100,000 visits from 201 countries/territories since its launch, I’d say it was a success.

So although you can’t yet get everything you want in one device, fret not, because thankfully Nova Scotia can give you everything you want in one place. Fishing, mining, foresting – what more could you ask for?