
Photo Illustration by Casey Goodwin/Maverick Messenger
By Madame Eliza
Resident Astrologist
Capricorn: December 23-January 20
Happy Birthday! Now that you are a year older and wiser, you probably expect life to be clearer. Sadly, 2009 will not work out that way. At times during this New Year, you may feel confused and bogged down with more information than you know what to do with. When this happens, you should take the time to sit back, relax, and take a short break from the subjects that are bothering you to gain new prospective.
Aquarius: January 21-February 19
After awhile, even the best things can turn rotten. Two thousand nine is the time to look at everything in your life—friends, relationships, material possessions—and ask yourself if they’re really as good as they once were. Just because Johnny was your best friend in second grade doesn’t mean he’s still a good influence on you now, and just because you’re still the same size doesn’t mean you should keep your wardrobe from middle school. Take a step back and ask yourself “is this really what’s best for me?”
Pisces: February 20-March 20
This is your year to shine. The hard work and tough decisions you have made in the past are finally going to start paying off. Don’t let this make you cocky, though. If you stop working hard, your new opportunities are going to fall apart, and bad choices can cause you to lose more than you can afford. Keep up your efforts and don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd.
Aries: March 21-April 20
Your devotion to your interests is becoming a bit too extreme. To be better off in 2009, you need to accept that you don’t need to play WOW for 5 hours each night, eat only broccoli, or catch the eye of that hot guy in your English class. These passions are starting to become obsessions, and are bound to hurt you in the long run. Take a moment to read a book, eat a juicy hunk of steak, or flirt with someone new.
Taurus: April 21-May 21
Now is the time to loosen up. Over the past several years, you’ve been taking yourself more and more seriously. Relax: you are not the center of the universe. Actually, you’re not even the center of the solar system. Don’t be afraid to laugh at your mistakes and don’t scorn any constructive criticism you might be given. Few people enjoy the company of those who are too serious and self-righteous to be goofy when the situation calls for it.
Gemini: May 22-June 21
In 2009, you are going to be tempted to repeat mistakes you’ve made before. Just because she says she wants to give your relationship a second shot, or your cousin swears that he’ll pay the money back this time, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s the best idea. Just because it’s a new year doesn’t mean that you can forget the lessons you learned in the past. Remember, only crazy people do the same thing over and over and are surprised when they get the same result.
Cancer: June 22-July 23
Remember your least favorite parts of 2008? They’re going to be back in full force in 2009, along with numerous other issues. That cold you had last March? You’ll have an even worse one this February. To avoid being too miserable this year, be sure to keep a positive mindset, no matter what goes wrong. At least if you pretend to happy, people won’t feel as sorry for you.
Leo: July 24-August 23
Your love life is going to take some major twists and turns in 2009. Nothing is going to be quite what you think it is in the romance department. The guy you think likes you won’t, and the girl you’ll be sure hates you is actually head over heels in love. If you already have a boyfriend or girlfriend, be prepared for the foundation of your relationship to alter greatly in the coming year. If you handle these changes poorly, a break up may be in your future.
Virgo: August 24-September 23
The New Year is the perfect opportunity for you to readjust your focus to the things in life that are truly important. Whether or not you get those cute $200 shoes you saw or beat your favorite video game won’t matter five or ten years from now. However, the way you treat your family, your friends, and your studies surely will. If you don’t take a second look at your priorities, you might be superficially happy for the short run, but in the long run you will be miserable.
Libra: September 24-October 23
So far, you’ve managed to get by without putting any major effort into anything. You take easier classes, avoid serious relationships, or keep forgetting to write that book you’ve had in your head for so long. This year is the year you need to start challenging yourself. Stop lazing around, letting life pass you by, and live life to the fullest. If you never work hard for anything you get, you won’t appreciate what you’ve earned. After all, which means more: an A in trigonometry/statistics or a B in AP Statistics?
Scorpio: October 24-November 22
Your stress levels are likely to reach an all-time high this year. Whether it’s college applications, tough classes, family problems, relationship drama, or just plain old frustration, life’s going to pile troubles on you until the pile feels like it’s high enough to reach Alpha Centauri. Now’s the time to practice meditation and deep breathing exercises, because you’re sure to need them in the near future.
Sagittarius: November 23-December 22
In the future, you’ll look back at 2009 as the year of bad hair days. Next time you go to get your hair cut, make sure you are extremely specific about what you want. The stars suggest that your hairstylist is likely to misinterpret your instructions. Or maybe her scissors will just slip. Either way, coupled with every day bed head and frizzy hair, you might want to consider shaving your locks off and wearing a wig until 2010.