A pair of best friends is like a pair of diamond earrings. They are pure, they shine best when they are together, and most definitely, they last forever. In seventh grade, I was fortunate enough to find my very own diamond, my best friend Cindy.* Although we were extremely different from each other, we made quite a sparkling pair.

We were inseparable during seventh grade. We never questioned what plans we had after school or on the weekends, for it was simply understood we were spending it together. Cindy introduced me to makeup and sneaking into movies, and I introduced her to romantic novels and actually paying for movies.

Where did my better half go?
When we entered eighth grade, our interests started drifting. Cindy started dating a boy, Aaron,* who was a sophomore in high school at the time. She was head over heels for this boy, and I saw that he cared for her, so he didn’t bother me at first. Then, when I noticed that she had to ask him for permission to hang out with me, a small sense of hatred began to grow.

For Christmas that year, Cindy took me to Mexico on a cruise. By this time, Cindy and Aaron had been dating for about four months; one would have thought they were married though. Both of them made me sick the night before we left for Mexico. They were crying and acting as if they would never see each other again.

We had a fun time in Mexico, but it would have been more fun if Cindy wasn’t constantly talking about Aaron. We had a few quarrels on the cruise too. I could tell she wasn’t the Cindy I goofed around with. Aaron changed her, and I couldn’t understand how. Cindy seemed like the type that never cared about what others thought and did whatever she wanted. Now she only cared what Aaron thought and what he wanted. Every time I tried pointing that out to her, she told me I was jealous. I was. I was jealous that he got to spend so much time with someone he didn’t deserve.

She did what?
When we got home from the cruise, there were still eight days left until school started; however, I didn’t see or hear from Cindy until I went to homeroom the next week. Something was awkward about her. She and another one of our friends were giggling and whispering. I wasn’t allowed to know what about though. I racked my mind as I heard bits and pieces of the conversation. The one word I heard loud and clear though was “sex.” I had to get to the bottom of whatever was going on, so I asked Cindy what was up. She said she would tell me later, but for me, later was not good enough.

I started talking to my other friend and asked if she really believed that Cindy had had sex. At this time, I didn’t know. I was just saying that to get my other friend to spill their conversation. Well, she spilled. Right then and there, she told me my Cindy, my best friend, had indeed had sex with Aaron.

I was in a sheer state of shock. I had to go my next class, but I couldn’t even think during that class. I couldn’t make Cindy’s decisions, but that was a horrible move for her to make on her own. I had always been taught sex was for two people heavily in love and married too; I was never taught sex was for an eighth grader who had no idea what she was doing. My teacher could sense that something was wrong with me. I stayed after to talk to her. She didn’t know who “my friend” was who had sex, but she knew that I was devastated.

The rumors that middle school students are known for spreading around held up to expectation, and within hours, people were hearing about Cindy’s loss of virginity and my talking to a teacher about it. By the end of the day, Cindy hated me. When school was over, she left for a doctor’s appointment. I called her on her cell phone, but her mom answered. Of course Cindy already told her what had happened, but she didn’t tell her mom that she actually did have sex. She told her mom I made it all up. That was what the rest of the school believed too.

Time to let go
Later, Cindy called me and we sorted things out after hours of screaming and crying. One thing was clear though, Cindy was not my best friend anymore. It wasn’t because she had sex; it was because she cared about her boyfriend more than anything or anyone. I cared about her more than ever at that time. I was scared that she was just being used. Cindy didn’t care what I thought. After realizing that talking to her was like talking to a wall, I sadly let go of our friendship. I couldn’t save it alone.

The rest of my eighth grade year was lonely as well as that summer. Occasionally, we would hang out together, without Aaron knowing, of course. Overall though, I wasn’t a priority to her anymore. After seeing what kind of person she had become, I actually didn’t care. She started smoking and drinking, and she was obsessed with sex. I have been a college-bound student since I was born, and doing those kinds of things wasn’t going to get me anywhere but into trouble.

When I entered Cimarron-Memorial High School, Cindy entered a Christian school to be with her boyfriend. No sooner than a few weeks after school had begun, they broke up. Now Cindy was the devastated one. She couldn’t bear to let him go. She couldn’t remember what life was like without him because he was her life.

She started having sex with other boys to make him jealous, but he didn’t care. By trying to impress Aaron or to get his attention, she got into trouble and was kicked out of school. She enrolled into Palo Verde, but she sadly ruined her life there. She started hanging out with the wrong people. She became addicted to Speed and crazy parties.

Her mom had no idea until one night when Cindy went too far. Her mom knew that her daughter had problems that she couldn’t fix, and Cindy knew that she had lost control of her life. Cindy’s mom enrolled her into a residential treatment center for teens in Utah. Later, Cindy would gain full control of her life again, and I would re-enter it as well as others who cared and loved her too.

A happy reunion
When Cindy left, I kept in touch with her mom. She would call me at least once a month to keep me updated on Cindy’s progress. I wanted to talk to Cindy so much; I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her. Although she and I weren’t close when she left, it honestly felt unreal that she was gone.

At both our schools, rumors were flying that Cindy had gone to the treatment center because she was pregnant and other nonsense reasons. Thankfully though, none of that was true, and Cindy was going there to become the person I had met in seventh grade.

After 11 long months, I knew Cindy was going to be coming home soon. Her mom tried to keep it a surprise, but Cindy’s housekeeper spilled and told me my girl was finally coming home! Over Christmas vacation last year, Cindy returned. The second day she was home, she came over to my house, and I could not have received a better Christmas present than to hug and talk to her!

My family barely recognized her. At the treatment center, she hadn’t been allowed to dye her hair, to get her nails done or to get a tan, so she looked totally different. To me, she never needed any of that anyway; she was always naturally beautiful. Then, when she started talking, we had to do another double-take. She had developed into such a mature and amazing person. Coming from the sheltered environment of the center really made it hard and emotional for Cindy to see the news all of the deaths that had happened over the last year from careless teenagers just trying to have a fun time. She stayed at my house for more than three hours that night to catch up; it was just like old times.

A diamond is forever
We have been through many stages, but we have survived it all. Friendships aren’t perfect, and neither are diamonds. Diamonds have to be polished before they are sold for people to buy. Our friendship has been polished into a beautiful treasure, and no one can take that away. We talk to each other nearly every day about school, the latest gossip, movies and boys. We see each other on the weekends, and never stop laughing and smiling when we go out.

When we look at each other, we feel so happy and fortunate to have such a caring person as the other to help us through anything. The next time you get the chance, take a good look at one of your best friends or close family members, and give back the love and support they’ve given you!

*Names have been changed.

-Return to February 2005 Issue-