Brriing!!

"So, how was your day?" the AOL Instant Messenger reads.

"Not bad, but I have a lot of homework," replies GVHS senior Amanda* to her boyfriend of six months, Steven.

Like many teens, Amanda often communicates with her friends and boyfriend through the computer, using an Instant Messenger, (which quickly sends messages to users from others), email and chat rooms. Not only does it save money for her when she talks to friends that live out of state, but it's actually a lot easier, she says, because she can talk to many friends at once, often while she is researching for a class.

However, Amanda also uses the Internet to meet new friends and potential boyfriends. In fact, Amanda met Steven, who is 19, through an online chat room.

"It wasn't creepy or anything," she says, "I was just in a Las Vegas chat room online, and we started talking and knew a lot of the same people."

From there, Amanda and Steven's relationship bloomed as they began talking on the phone and eventually meeting, which led to a love connection.

"He was really sweet, and we just connected," she says.

Amanda isn't a minority among teenagers. Everyday, more and more teens are signing on and looking to meet new friends and make romantic connections. In fact, about four million teens sign online everyday, invading chat rooms, message boards and online "personals" sites.

But why do so many teens log on everyday? For starters, many say that spending time on the computer is an easy way to burn hours that would otherwise be empty and boring.

Senior Jennifer says she signs on specifically when she is bored, and she always finds someone to chat with. In doing so, she has made two new friends that she would have never had the chance to meet offline. One girl attends Cheyenne HS, and the other attends Mojave HS.

For a lot of teens, logging on for hours is a much more enjoyable experience than more traditional teenage activities, like watching television. Both Jennifer and Amanda say this is a major reason they talk to people online.

“I started talking to people because I wanted to find people who like plays, art galleries and museums," says Jennifer. "I wanted to find people online who like these things too."

"A lot of times, it's hard for me to click with people at school," agrees Amanda. "Online, I can easily find people who share my ideas and like to do the same things I do."

Quite a few teens, especially shy ones, say that it is easier to meet a person online and hold a conversation than it is at school or other places.

Sophomore Lauren Poleski explains, "You can say things about yourself that you would never even tell your closest friends."

One psychologist claims that some people are just better at written communication, therefore, it is easier for them to share thoughts on a computer screen than face to face.

Some chat rooms promise to help teens find "hundreds of other teens with similar interests" and allow teens to communicate with one another, but experts warn that chat rooms and message boards can get out of hand and are often not under surveillance.

"Those chat rooms are out of control," says Dana Pomerantz, senior. "Everyone chats about different things. It's like no one is really even talking to each other." The cons, she says, outweigh the pros, and most of the time trying to find a person to talk to that isn't "a complete idiot" or who shares interests becomes a waste of time.

"Most of the people on there are younger or older than they say they are," she says, "and everyone argues with each other." Since most chat rooms are unmonitored and instant messages are private, many teens may find themselves assaulted by foul language and derogatory comments by other users.

"There are a lot of sickos in those chat rooms," Pomerantz says. “I really don't like being harassed by gross guys. Most guys in chat rooms are not interested in being friends, but just want to talk about sex."

Jennifer says she's experienced firsthand how many can pretend to be searching for a friend when they're after something else. After meeting an online friend at another person's house, she soon noticed the guy was looking for something other than friendship. When he found out Jennifer would not have sex with him, he "bailed out on the friendship," and she no longer has contact with him.

Amanda says that though she has experienced, negative encounters with others online, she never feels intimidated or unsafe and continues to chat online. Still, she says, it's hard for her and Steven because many do not understand the basis behind a relationship that started online.

"Some people think it's strange, so we usually keep that a secret and say we met at a party, if we say anything at all," she says. "I mean, I'm not ashamed, but I think others respect our relationship a lot more if they think we met in the real world."

Poleski, too, says that others question the relationship between her and her best friend, whom she met online. "People think it's kind of weird that I met this person over the Internet, and I think it's kind of weird too," she explains.

Other teenagers say that wasting away hours in front of a computer is worthless.

"What's the point of sitting there for hours?" asks junior Derek Denham. "It's easier to meet people at school or social events. Why do I need to try and talk to people I can't even see?"

Though Jennifer and Amanda both say that they will continue meeting people online, Poleski, who met an online friend once, says she will not be taking the risk of an online meeting again.

"My parents were there and so were his, but it was still very scary," she explained. "I got lucky one time, but I don't think I'd ever want to meet anyone else."

How dangerous can the Internet be to young people?

"Chat rooms, especially those used by teenagers, are sometimes also used by pedophiles to find victims," warns SafeKids.Com. "Adults or even older teens seeking to exploit young people don't necessarily tell the truth about who they are."

Pomerantz agrees. "You totally get the feeling that there are creeps in the rooms," she says. "It's gross."

In a study conducted by the Crimes Against Children Research Center of the University of New Hampshire, more than a quarter of the teens surveyed, who chat online, claim they have been solicited for sex or asked to provide sexual information by someone on the Internet, and many teens have reported feeling insecure when talking to a stranger online.

"I never really thought that meeting Steven would be dangerous," says Amanda. "But I guess I should have. I brought a friend with me, but I can see how it could have turned into a bad situation."

Jennifer says she usually takes proper safety precautions by giving step-by-step instructions to a friend whenever she meets someone from the Internet.

In order to stay safe, SafeKids.Com reminds teens to never give out their full name, address, phone number or personal information to others, even though they might feel comfortable with their online pen pals. The site warns that even seemingly harmless pieces of information could get a teen into trouble, and giving out phone numbers to strangers can leave a teen vulnerable to harassment.

If a teen does decide to meet an online friend, proper safety should be of the utmost importance. Meeting in a public place is the obvious piece of advice, but teens should also bring along a friend and discuss the matter with their parents.

Even after taking the proper safety precautions, however, there are no guarantees with online relationships. Teens should stay clearheaded and use their instincts. With the proper precautions, online chats can stay safe and friendly, and eventually lead to lasting relationships.

"I'll be more careful if I meet someone in the future," says Amanda, "but I'm glad I met Steven. He's a friend as well as boyfriend, and I wouldn't have met him except for the Internet."

She'll keep logging on, she says. "It's just fun to talk to new people, as well as old friends online."

* Some names have been changed

-Return to May 2002 Issue-